Artist Statement Assist for Colin

Heyyy Colin ^.^
I have a few suggestions for your biggie artist statement. First I want to say that I feel like your personality is really coming through. I feel like it can be more active though. A lot of your verbs are passive and your content loses some steam because of it. There is also a really strong focus on where you are coming from (your early life), which is really valuable, but I feel like you are going back and forth between the past and present without clear transitions. I also feel like you need to make the parts about your past more personal or visual. Instead of saying something like girly things, maybe give a real life example that could stand in for that phrase and inject emotion into it. Also, consider the portion about your past as a structural element in the writing- the rest builds from it. Since so much of your work is about your identity, consider modeling the structure after your own growth.
The connections that you make to your community are strong, but remember that this statement should make you stand out. What makes you different from other queer identifying people? I feel like you should mention your leadership qualities in this community as well- how do you work to build community? How do you use your art to bring people together, to give representation to your family?

I think the biggest thing you need to work on is cleaning up your grammar and making the writing smoother, I'd be happy to sit down and edit with you if you would like!! Just let me know, I got you babe! Good luck and don't be afraid to be joyful, celebrate, let your light shine! You talk about it in your artist statement, but I feel like it should be implicit in the writing, like your light shining through your words. Bring the same energy to this that you bring to your drag performances.