Thoughts on both statements

John Artist statement:

(restructured and edited)

Humanity seems to be in a constant state of turmoil. Our climate is shifting, fertility is declining, the refugee crisis is growing, and solutions are either inadequate or non existent. Each one of these is incredibly nuanced, and they are just a few of the many issues we face.  Although the answers seem foggy and unclear, the source is transparent: technology. Whether we are trying to understand how technology affects us, or where it fails to, it’s the central point of our current condition.

The common perception is that technology is rooted in the world of science; this calls to question how art can be helpful in remedying these issues. Some would argue that art is meant to be a distraction or escape from our strife. I disagree, I feel art is not only bad at distracting us, but its ability to do so is trivial. Our world is more distracting today than ever before (maybe provide some relevant examples here?). Even though we have an abundance of information at our fingertips, our population is distracted and blind to the fragility of humanity’s status.

Art has the ability to pull us out of this sea of distraction and create a space where we can be aware our own existence.  This is what I strive to do with my creative practice. I create work that intends to cultivate self-awareness and mindfulness. Humanity’s relationship to technology and art’s relationship to science are common threads that run through much of my work. I intend to challenge societal understandings of what art and science are, and shed a light on how the line drawn between these fields is immeasurably blurred and permeable. I hope this argument will lead to a greater understanding and willingness to learn about humanity’s unique relationship with technology; because I believe mindfulness leads to awareness, which leads to activism.

Breakaway Piece Statement:

(Comments about content)

Since your work is revolved around the societal impacts of technology, I don’t know if you need to describe your first hand experience. I don’t believe you need to establish your right to talk about this technology, because birth control has objectively had an impact on both men and women. Anyone can research, understand, and talk about this, so I don’t know if you need to share you and your partner’s experience. I’m not arguing that the subjective impacts aren’t important, they obviously are. I’m just unsure where this piece is trying to bring the conversation. Are you trying to talk about the objective effects of birth control or the subjective effects? I feel if you talk about it objectively, the piece will be less controversial and just focusing on the facts.

 When I see the piece I don’t think about personal experience, I think about societal ones. How it has allowed women to enter the workplace alongside men. Essentially, birth control has given women the power to have control over their biological processes, allowing them to choose when they have children which gives them an opportunity to pursue more meaningful career paths. This is obviously a very powerful and profound impact, it essentially unlocked the potential of half our population who would have otherwise been bound heavily by biology. In terms of negative impacts, I see that it has given rise to hookup culture which leads to people getting married less, divorcing more, and having less kids (also having kids later in life). These are just some things off the top of my head (which could be wrong), and are things that affect both men and women. Do you want this piece to open up the conversation to effects like these? Or are you more concerned with how it affects the body in general? Given your statement, I am unsure what aspects of birth control you are trying to highlight. Is it about your experience? The health effects? The societal impacts? Is it open to all of them? Personally, I feel the objective, societal impacts (void of your experience) would be perfectly in line with your artist statement and the other work you’ve been developing. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duBRl0gRBDs

(This came to mind when we had your first critique. Most of it is pretty relevant, might be helpful)